 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
 |
Writing and Revising Your Life Story
Change is not simple. Why do we repeat behavior that doesn't work? Those actions that lead to stifling debt, disappointing careers, or stuck relationships? Then do it harder, yet expect a different result? Why is it not obvious that trying to exit an old story by simply writing a "better ending" only recreates the same story, and ensures that we remain in it? That a thousand better endings to an old story don't create a new story? That the past cannot be changed and is a settled matter? That too often, we see ourselves as the victims of the stories that we author and the feelings we create? We actively construct what we think, feel, and experience. How surprised we are to learn that our fears are not in the dim shadows of the past's unknown, but in the hopeful light of this moment's change. The only thing more difficult than changing and growing is not doing it. It is never too late to become what you might have been. Or too soon to become who you want to be. As adults, we are the sole authors of our own life stories. Every day begins a fresh page. The dramas of everyday life do not simply affect us, they are created by us. Yet so often the story closest to us, our own, is the most difficult to read How can we tell our life stories to ourselves in order to know which aspects of the narrative work and which need to change? How can we identify what is missing, change an attitude, or generate happiness? How can we shift our understanding to see life not as a multiple-choice test with certain predetermined answers, but as an open-ended essay question? 12 STEPS TO LISTEN TO YOUR LIFE STORY This exercise intends to illuminate invisible decisions camouflaged as beliefs and assumptions. This exercise intends to align your efforts with a refocused vision. 1. Crystallize awareness of beliefs, views, and opinions that you hold in each area of your life: family, business, personal, financial, creativity, and spiritual development. Recognize that none of these are facts, but beliefs that are created. The beliefs, points of view, and opinions are decisions that you make, a perception that you hold. You can track when in time you made your original decision that led to the view or belief that is limiting. Most often the original decision arises from disappointment, or what you did not get. An example is a decision to be cautious about relationships, and protect yourself in case of rejection. This belief brings about what you fear, though perhaps based originally on adaptive protection from physical or emotional abandonment. Problems are not written into your genes, though an assumption such as victimhood can be a powerfully organizing storyline, even an aspect of identity. 2. Look for the link/connection between the original decision to the view or perspective held now. Acknowledge the impact it has on your current life, the costs, and the exchanges that you make. Does each belief serve you right now? At one time, the decision served you but you may have outgrown it. Is it still worth the cost that you pay? Are you exchanging valuable time and energy in pursuit of something that ultimately is disappointing? 3. Try new perspectives and possibilities. You have to try on and live an experience to get informed data of how it may bring a change to your life. An experiment may be an idea or image that you live into, and evolve it to create a habit. 4. Explore what is possible. From the place of what is possible, clarify what you want to create, and what action would be paired with it. 5. Recognize and honor your uniqueness. Your uniqueness includes distinctive capacities and abilities, what you do exceptionally well, what works best for you. The design of your life plan must recognize your exceptional strengths, and place your energy on leveraging strengths, rather than creating obstacles. Are you engaging your passion and creativity to do what you do uniquely well in your life and career? 6. Recognize that which you can determine, and that which you cannot. Let go/accept what you cannot determine rather than engaging it with hope and ultimate frustration. Embrace that which benefits you and the elements that serve you, and let go of all that do not. 7. Do only that which works in current time and that is consistent with your needs and values. The bottom line of any theory or belief system is: Does it work now? 8. Clarify decisions about how you use, invest, and refurbish your life energy based on your life plan. 9. Change is a process, not an event. Design short-term, step-wise measurable goals to validate your progress. Hold yourself accountable to the timetable of your goals. 10. Review your tolerations list. Update and revise it. 11. Create a mission that is stronger than your fear. Focus your energy on where you are: the present-- and where you are headed: the future. You cannot change the past, but you can free yourself from its grips. 12. Focus your energy on where you are: the present-- and where you are headed: the future. You cannot change the past, but you can free yourself from its grips. 15 REFLECTIONS TO BEGIN MASTERFUL PLOT REVISION 1. What are the recurring storylines in your life that work? 2. What are the recurring themes in your life that do not work? 3. Is there a piece of your life that is unlived? 4. Who are you in your career? 5. Who are you (or who have you become) in your most intimate relationship? 6. What goals have you realized in your life? 7. What goals have you not realized in your life? 8. Do you have a clear internal ideal of who and what you want to be? 9. What percent of your full capacity are you functioning in your work? 10. What percent of your capacity are you living in your personal life? 11. What are your conflicted storylines where it is obvious not all of you is going comfortably and effectively in the same direction? 12. Do all the storylines fit and further the plot you want to advance? 13. What do you continue to engage by disclaiming and denying? 14. Do you have an awareness of your different states of mind? Do you have basic mastery of how to enter and exit various states of mind? 15. What do you hear in listening to your body's somatic language? David Krueger, M.D. is an Executive Strategist/ Professional Coach (www.executivestrategist.biz) Email execstrategist@aol.com. He is author of 11 books. This article is excerpted from Dr. Krueger's 12th book, soon to be published, LIVE A NEW LIFE STORY: The Essentials of Change, Reinvention, and Personal Success.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Plan for Business Success - 6 Reasons to Succession Plan Succession Planning provides many valuable assets to your business. Yet it is easy to do, with a game plan. Internal Control - The Why and How Many retailers do not have good internal controls in place and place little importance on them. They are concerned with the buying and selling of merchandise and do not place enough emphasis on making certain that the sales get recorded, the money gets in the bank, the invoices are paid only once and the inventory reports are correct. Coaching Champions at Work I saw Brian Kerr (the Irish national football coach) on television not so long ago and it reminded me of a platform I shared with him at a Banking Institute seminar in Dublin. Whilst I was waiting for my turn I listened to Brian and experienced two emotions - admiration and jealousy. Squeezing the Blood Out of that Old Turnip I suspect all of you out there have someone that you rely on for insight and perspective - that wise old mentor that seems to have an unlimited depth of experience to draw from in helping you navigate life's little challenges. You know, those little parables and anecdotal tales that always relate perfectly that very problem you're trying to solve. Rules for Running a Meeting As an experienced manager, I can announce without a doubt that the primary reason for lack of effectiveness in the contemporary business world is that people don't follow the rules for running a meeting. Thousands meetings are conducted each day and most of the meeting chairmen have not even heard of the rules for running a meeting. Employees Commit Corporate Fraud Imagine the following scenario; Ten years ago you decided to quit your job and start your own company. For ten years you worked hard, made sacrifices, and it paid off in the end. Innovation Management - forced into it! Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.There are distinct processes that enhance problem identification and idea generation and, similarly, distinct processes that enhance idea selection, development and commercialisation. Middle-Aged Managers, the Forgotten Digital Divide The digital divide is defined by the role computers play within widening social gaps in our society, as the condition of one group having an advantage over another group in regard to computers, technology skills and Internet access.This is usually thought of as being a divide between the white middle class and minority communities; but there is another often overlooked class of nonusers, the middle-aged corporate manager. Employees - Treat Them the Way They Expect to be Treated When you have to deal with one of your team who's complaining to you, rather than allowing your negative programmes to take over, get your thinking part in gear and try to see the situation the way they see it. You don't necessarily have to agree with them but perhaps you can empathise with their point of view. How to Get the Best from Outsourcing There's a great little article ('Business Lifeforms') on the back pages of the UK's leading management magazine, Management Today each month. It's a spoof (at least I think it is!) about some fictitious key player in a fictitious organisation. ISO 9001, What Next? The overriding goal of ISO-14000. (History 1995)As ISO-9000 becomes a way of life for the global business community, ISO-14000 is almost ready to debut with its own set of standards for voluntary environmental compliance. Allowing Employees Responsibility Merely assigning a task with detailed instructions is not effective delegation. An employee cannot grow without the freedom to make decisions on how the job should be done. Employers - Protect Yourself from Custody Battles that Hold Your Company Hostage Child custody? How'd that get to be an employer's concern?When an employee faces child custody litigation, it will effect their ability to do their job. And it often causes legal consequences for their employers as well. Human Resources: The Misidentified Subject Interest in the field of human resources has exploded in recent years due to the promises it offers for a better understanding of human beings at work. The term is now as ubiquitous as it has once been obscure. CEOs Are Great, Top CEOs Are Greater People in leading positions are often in a dilemma: on one hand they are supposed to give great performances, make the right decisions and so forth; on the other hand, they have to fill the role of a very confident and self-assured manager. This may be considered a dilemma because CEOs are expected to be almost supernatural, and asking for assistance in what is supposed to be their core competence (leadership!) simply does not fit the picture, no matter how necessary it may be. Five Ways to Turn Resistance into Opportunity Resistance. It isn't something people cherish or enjoy encountering. Einstein, The Universe, And Leadership Every since serving a hitch in the military, I have been nagged by the question that's been hanging around leadership since time immemorial: How can some leaders persuade people to believe in them and follow them and other leaders can't? But it wasn't the military that provided me with a framework to answer that question. It was Albert Einstein and his quest for the unified field theory of the universe. Preparation: Your Companys Best Defense in Case of Catastrophe You've hung out your shingle and are ready for business. But what if something unforeseen were to occur? Is your business truly ready for all that being in business entails? It only takes one catastrophic event to adversely impact a once thriving business. The Myth Of Relationship Selling Revealed At Last The second you quit being the 'best deal' for your customer, he'll drop you like a hot potato. Regardless of how many lunches you've bought him or birthdays you've remembered. Business Innovation - Ignoring Content Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.There are other useful definitions in this field, for example, creativity can be defined as consisting of a number of ideas, a number of diverse ideas and a number of novel ideas.
|
|
|
 |
 |
