 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
 |
Revenge in the End is Bitter Sweet
We ALL think or have thought about it at one time or another. Revenge! Yes, we plan, we let our minds conjure up ways to get back at someone who we believe has wronged us (at this point you should hear the Austin Power-Dr. Evil maniacal laugh in your head). I've yet to hear a speaker on success really discuss revenge so I thought I take a stab at it (no pun intended) by sharing a recent incident that happened to me. Let me step back for a moment and tell you that during high school I sprouted over night to my current height of 6'2" and was skinny as a rail. In school I was never one of the cool guys. I was always one who hung out on the periphery hoping to absorb the coolness from my fellow classmates. I was invited to play on a local YMCA team. I was sucked in by my friends telling me, "Victor, you'd be good at it." (See the video on my website to see how this turned out). I don't know what possessed me to say yes since I had the grace of dizzy duck and the coordination of an inebriated flamingo. I was all fowled up! (Sorry, bad joke) I had grown so quickly that I wasn't use to my height. On our team there was a guy, we'll call him John, who was constantly belittling me and took pleasure in finding any opportunity to make fun of my: height, weight or lack of basketball ability. He was shorter, stealthier and could play the game. Given his scoring ability, he was always going at me and wouldn't let up when it came to ridiculing. I wouldn't classify him a bully because there was never a physical threat, but he rode me every moment he could. Every time I saw John my mind would race with all the bad things I'd like to see happen to him. I wanted some type of revenge or satisfaction. But in the end, both never came. I graduated from high school, mentally intact, and went about creating my success. From what I heard, John couldn't wait to get out of High School and didn't go on to college. Let me now fast forward almost 23 years later. I was invited back to do a keynote speech at my High School in Chicago. I gotta tell ya'?going back after so many years was chilling (in a good way). I had so many good memories and enjoyed walking the halls and peeking into the classrooms where I use to sit. By 10 a.m. the auditorium was filled to the brim with students. As I approached the stage door which led to the stage, coming from the other direction was a familiar face wearing a dark green jumpsuit. Yep, you guessed it, it was John. John looked at me, paused, looked at me again and said a sense of amazement, "You're the speaker?" I nodded my head as he continued to look at me in disbelief; as if a ghost from the past had come to pay him a visit. It's funny how we wait for a moment where we've replayed in our mind everything we want to say to a person. But guess what happened? Nothing came out. My thoughts, anger and resentment dissipated the moment I started talking to John. I treated him as I would any stranger I'd meet on my speaking tour. I went to ask him how he was doing, about family and on and on. Before I excused myself to go speak, he mentioned that he was married, had kids and that he was the school janitor. My mind yelled, "Huh! The school Janitor?!" as I stepped inside. The host introduced me and I took the stage to speak to an auditorium packed with students with A.D.D. (attention deficit disorder). Corporate crowds are tough, but nothing is tougher than speaking to High School students. As I looked into the audience while speaking, I saw John off to the side smiling as he seemed to be enjoying my talk on success. After my speech, John came by to shake my hand and congratulate me. He said, "Victor, that was great. I was telling some of the students that I went to school with you." We talked a little longer before saying our pleasant goodbyes. For the rest of the day, my mind was whipping from the past to the present and how much John and I had changed. I no longer had ill feelings towards John. I no longer wished him harm. I began to reflect on how time changes us all, but yet in our minds we hold onto relics of the past. Many of us carry some sort of angst towards someone who has wronged us in the past. And yes, some of us may very well fantasize about revenge. Seeing John again reminded once more that revenge is often bitter sweet. It's never as sweet as you planned or imagined it would be. And bitter when you think on how foolish it was to have wasted all that mental energy on thoughts of getting even one day. People change over time but our memories of others don't take that into account. On that day the 'old John' died and a new updated memory of him took its place; a more pleasant one at that. I don't think I forgave John for the past; that would be too trite. I just decided to bury the memory and put a R.I.P. tombstone on it. It was no longer relevant to me. As we grow older, so does our appreciation for life and humanity. None of us with a true sense of decency can possibly wish any harm or misfortune to befall a fellow human being. We shouldn't torture ourselves by exhuming the past. Stop it! Cut it out! Maybe, just maybe, the best way to get even is to simply ignore the past, and focus your time on building a new YOU. Maybe, you should focus your energy on building or rebuilding your success. And if destiny is kind enough to smile in your direction, you may just run across one those old memories on the road to your greatness and create a more pleasant one. Please forward this on to someone who needs a bit of inspiration today. Victor Gonzalez, top Hispanic motivational speaker and author of "The LOGIC of Success". For more info go to: www.thelogicofsuccess.com or by email victor@thelogicofsuccess.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
No More Frustration: The Thorns of Opportunity - Part I The Thorns of Opportunity.. A Bit Of Turbulence Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 1, 2002I'm a 26-year-old flight attendant engaged to be married in 10 weeks. Our wedding reception was to be held in a marquee in my in-laws' garden. Listening to Your Inner Voice May Save Your Life "I was washing my breakfast dishes one morning when it occurred to me to go visit a friend who lived several miles away. I did my work and started to dress for my journey, when there came over me such a feeling of depression, or despondency, or gloom, that I could not understand. Persistency - Element In Reality One of the keys to being successful in anything you do is persistence. Lets clarify the word 'persistence' :- It is ability to be persist on instances. Meatballs: Friend, or Foe? We all have those moments, don't we? We're right in the middle of a project, and it's simply not going well.Like me, you may find yourself becoming irritated, wishing you could find an easier way to get the job done (or even eliminate it completely. Love and Courage To [many] work is not a gratifying opportunity to do good, but a necessary evil they would gladly forgo if they won or inherited a fortune. It is just a livelihood, a vital drudgery. Lesson Learned Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 9, 2002I was involved with a man separated from his wife. We connected on an extremely emotional level and were in the process of building a future. The HUGE Deposit of Diamond in You Something happened to me some years back that is worthy is sharing with everybody all over the world. When I started running my business, things were very tough for me to the point that I could hardly afford to have a dime on me. Love Thy Neighbor I would like to take a moment to write about our neighbors. We all have them. The Seasons Of Life, Part 4 of 5 This week is Part Four of our five part series on The Season's of Life.In Part One of the series we discussed:a) That life is about constant, predictable patterns of change. Journals You Can Keep Besides your daily feelings, thoughts, and experiences journal, there are many ideas for journals or diaries that you can keep, some are suggested below. Buy a blank book or a notebook with a particular journal topic in mind and keep this book for only that topic. Silence Inside Silence means no voice input of any sort. What happens when there is silence? We cannot hear anything from the outside, but the voices inside are what we hear pretty clearly. Switch to a Better Channel! Peril, catastrophe and disaster.These are our friends, allies and mentors. Finding Hope In Trying Times Growing up, as a child of the 60's, peace, love and harmony were the words being chanted by the hippies, flower children and all who questioned authority and were against the Vietnam War. I remember thinking how I couldn't wait to grow up. Making Commitments of Love and Courage There is a story about a little girl who suffered from a serious disease. Her best chance of recovery would be to receive a blood transfusion from her five-year old brother. Who Is Dr Robert Anthony and Why Is He One of My Mentors and Heroes? So who is Dr Robert Anthony?He is the best-selling author of the books 'Doing What You Love - Loving What You Do', 'Advanced Formula For Total Success', 'How To Make The Impossible Possible', 'Total Self-Confidence', 'Betting On Yourself', 'Magic Power Of Super Persuasion', '50 Ideas That Can Change Your Life', 'Random Wisdom' and the audio program 'Rapid Manifestation'.These are all included in his latest multi-media course 'Know How To Be Rich'. Words Of Wisdom Carlos' Words of Wisdom1. Today is your day to exceed, so why live in yesterday. The True and Magnificent Power of Giving You've probably heard of the popular saying "It's better to give than to receive." But do you actually know what hidden power lies within this magnanimous act known as "giving?"When you give something from your heart without expecting anything in return, you release a powerful force that will trigger your good deed to "bounce" back to you in amazing, and sometimes unusual ways. The Memorable First Days! The first few hours in this world, when we as babies drop out to mingle with the natural beauty and wonders, the first day in our life is the most important day of our life.Don't we all have these memorable first days in our life?Ask a philatelist and he or she will say how memorable the first days are, to them. Leaving The Child Behind. Recovery From Child Abuse I looked at my father for the last time before he was finally laid to rest. And I said to myself, "I forgive you father".
|
|
|
 |
 |
