Forgive to Succeed - Im Talking to the You Behind Your Eyes


If your blood is still pumping through your veins, you very likely have some forgiving to do. When you truly forgive, you serve yourself much more than you serve the person you are forgiving. What I mean here is this. Forgiveness is great for the other person, but it's absolutely critical for us. We don't really move on with our lives until we fully and completely forgive. Unfortunately for some, they live their entire lives in a state of anger and resentment. What an awful tragedy it is to let someone hurt and limit you for an entire lifetime. Our time could be better spent on creating and enjoying a life of happiness.

But, how do we know when a lack of forgiveness is holding us back? Obviously, if your blood boils every time you see the person or hear their name, you've got some forgiving to do. But, following are some subtle signs that we've yet to fully forgive, even if we think we have:

You feel irritated or angry with the person and you're not sure why.

Example: You and a friend go out for a bite to eat. She says, "It's your turn to pay, girl?I paid last time." You know that she did pay last time but you feel angry for some reason. You think to yourself, "Why am I angry? It really is my turn to pay." But the truth is that you never forgave her for not repaying you the $150 she borrowed 7 years ago.

You have a hard time with new relationships.

Example: You can only get so close with a new partner or friend before putting up your defenses or self-sabotaging the relationship. You think it's because they are emotionally unavailable for true intimacy. And, that may be true if they have their own forgiveness issues. But, we're not talking about them right now; we're talking about you. In truth you were hurt by an old partner or friend and now sabotage anything that might go any deeper. Here again the freedom is in truly forgiving the person that hurt you in the first place. Only then will you allow someone new to get closer.

You're not getting what you want in this life

Example: You haven't been able to attain the amount of financial security you truly want. You haven't yet met that special person with whom you desire to share your spiritual, emotional and physical life. You're disappointed with your current life-style and wish you had more leisure time for relaxation and romance. The list goes on. I'll say it again; you have some forgiving to do. This time the person you need to forgive is in the mirror. Not the mirror in the busy restaurant, because there, you'll only see what you present to the outside world. No, I'm talking about the mirror in your own private bathroom, first thing in the morning; the one that reflects who it is that you think you really are. The "You" behind your eyes.

Forgiveness takes spiritual exercise and discipline. Most of the time we don't even know that we are angry, leave alone why. Spiritual coaching, growth-oriented readings, mediation and spending time in nature are some ways to become more aware of our internal worlds. And, then we can begin to heal and move our lives in the direction we dream and hope for. There is no better time than now. So, take some steps today.

This is what "Shades and Reflections" is all about. Helping people see them selves more accurately.

Delano Garner is the founder of "Shades and Reflections" a resource site for authentic living. http://www.ShadesandReflections.com


MORE RESOURCES:

IBTimes.co.uk

Can Happiness Research Invent a Better Economics?
The Atlantic
But do they know how to measure happiness? If they did, what would we even do with the results? Each year, the OECD produces the Better Life Index, a comprehensive report on the well-being of advanced countries based on a long list of factors, ...
Korea 24th happiest nation: OECDKorea Times
Global Economic Group OECD: Americans are Wealthiest, But Not HappiestMoneynews
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AARP News (blog)

Happiness: Reversing the Formula
Huffington Post
We grow up being taught to believe external things will bring happiness. Many of us learn to equate our own happiness with the level of success we achieve and the external things that come with the achievement. If we meet the right person, ...
What's Your Happiness Formula?AARP News (blog)

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Daily Mail

Happiness is — being a woman!
Times of India
An international study has suggested that women spend less time in office, are better educated, live longer and are generally happier than their male colleagues. Across the world's most advanced countries men work longer hours and earn higher wages but ...
Women are happier, better educated and less stressed than overworked men ...Daily Mail

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Home of love, happiness and life
Spartanburg Herald Journal
“I wanted my house to be warmed by love, lighted by happiness and always full of life,” says the Spartanburg native, owner of Travel Connections, a corporate travel management company. Her beautiful, stately brick Southern Colonial at the Carolina ...



A Sea of 'Happiness' Without Memory
Huffington Post (blog)
With the advent of positive psychology, there has been a vast emphasis on finding happiness, and we might say selling it, and for a pittance at that. All we have to do, it seems, is buy into the idea that unhappiness -- which we are brought to feel is ...



Our say: The joys (or not!) of parenting
San Jose Mercury News
In fact, parents are generally happier and find more meaning in life than people who don't have children. That's according to a three-part study released last week by a team of researchers from UC Riverside, the University of British Columbia and ...
Parents are happier peopleiAfrica.com

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CareerBliss Announces the Ten Happiest Companies for Veterans for 2012
MarketWatch (press release)
IRVINE, Calif., May 22, 2012 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- CareerBliss, the leading online career community empowering people to find happier jobs with 3 million open jobs and salary info on CareerBliss.com, announces new data highlighting The 10 Happiest ...
Orlando No. 6 happiest city for job-seeking college gradsBizjournals.com

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Chan Luu says happiness is key to beautiful jewelry
Houston Chronicle
I really believe your happiness is in your own hands. If I'm not happy, I exude nothing but toxic energy around me. People don't like it, and my jewelry might look nasty. I want my jewelry to be pretty and my customers to love it.

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What's the Most Popular Resolution for Happiness?
Huffington Post (blog)
When people tell me they've done their own happiness projects, I always ask, "What resolutions did you try? What worked for you?" One answer comes up more than any other. I'm not saying that this is the most significant thing you could do to boost your ...



The Philadelphia Happiness Project: 12 Ways to Overcome City-Induced Angst
Philadelphia Magazine (blog)
Not 30 seconds before Spitgate, I had been perfectly content, sitting in my seat reading that book, The Happiness Project. Do you know it? (Evidently, it's been on the New York Times bestseller list for roughly a jillion weeks.) I'm not very far in, ...


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